Let Them Eat Shavings
Le Council has reviewed this petition with the seriousness it demands, which is considerable. The Jambono appears between every period. The shavings accumulate. Le Council will admit, with some embarrassment, that no formal accounting of the shavings has ever existed. This is an oversight. The petitioner has identified a genuine gap in Hockay's civic infrastructure, and Le Council is not too proud to acknowledge it. The theological implications of consuming ice that has been in contact with The Almighty Ice are, at this time, unresearched. Le Council is not in a position to confirm or deny any effects that may or may not result from such consumption. The Almighty Ice has been informed that this petition exists. It has not responded. This is being interpreted as neither objection nor endorsement, which is consistent with how The Ice handles most things. Gather the required signatures. The shavings will be collected. A vendor will be found. No flavor has been confirmed. No flavor has been denied. — Both endorsement thresholds have since been met. The matter is now before Le Council.
Let Them Eat Shavings
As it currently stands, the ice shavings produced by The Jambono's cleanup/Resurfacing passes are unaccounted for. They exist. They accumulate between every period of every match. No one has formally proposed what should be done with them. I am proposing what should be done with them.
Accordingly, I humbly petition Le Council to establish a shop through which registered members of the Hockay fandom may purchase Jambono Shavings using Looneys — ice shavings collected after The Jambono's cleanup/Resurfacing passes, served in a paper cup by a vendor of uncertain origin.
I. The Product
The Jambono appears between periods of every match to clean the ice. The shavings it produces shall be collected and made available for purchase at a price to be determined by Le Council.
No flavor has been confirmed. No flavor has been denied.
II. On the Matter of Effects
The Jambono cleans the ice between every period. The shavings it leaves behind have been in contact with The Almighty Ice itself.
You spend the Looneys. You eat the shavings. The Almighty Ice is aware that you have done this.
III. Notes
- Shavings are produced between every period — supply is not a concern
Le Council is encouraged to take this under advisement. The Jambono appears every period. The shavings go somewhere. They should come to me.
Top supporters
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