This Week in Hockay: November 1st
Thirteen matchdays are in the record. Thirty-three are not, and the first of those is being played as this dispatch goes out. It is the second Second Chance Sunday of Season 04.
On the 30th, B.U.T. opened the parlay. At midnight, the figure in the hood came back for its board, and Round 4.1 resolved in the same minute. In between, Le Council audited the badge rolls, and the champions found their way home. Le Council reports all of it.
The Board Has Been Collected
The board was at Le Council's door for seven days. At 00:00 UITC this morning, the hooded figure collected it. Le Council did not see it leave.
- Sixty-seven scientists asked 241 questions. Forty-six asked on the first day. Twenty-one asked on the last.
- It spelled YES 28 times and NO 31 times.
- It spelled the name of the scientist asking it ten times, to nine scientists. Dirty Slawt was named twice. Nobody had told it a name.
- Forty-one times, it spelled letters that are not a word. Le Council has kept all of them.
On the 25th, Ads asked how to make the players more powerful. The board spelled AWAKE, and Ruslan Abenov of Samarkand is no longer Awake. Le Council reported it here last week.
The next UITC day began at 00:00 on the 26th. By 02:00, three more scientists had asked the board the same question, word for word. All three follow the Samarkand Seagulls.
- At 00:13, it spelled MAGNETIC. Dilnoza Yusupova is now Magnetic.
- At 00:18, it spelled CLUMSY. Malika Tursunova is now Clumsy.
- At 01:59, it spelled THEY LEAVE. The Samarkand front office disagreed with the use of the board, and resigned. Seated in its place: Drawn to the Changed · Ruthless.
Two more scientists asked the same question later in the week. The board changed nothing. Samarkand went 4-3, and are seventh in the Givre. The new front office has not said what it thinks of the board. Le Council has not asked it.
On the last day, Mako Trig asked the board to bless the Dragons. It spelled CLUMSY. Darragh Kelly of Dublin is now Clumsy. Dublin are third in the Givre.
Most questions were not about the players.
- Asked about the Puck, it spelled IT IS WATCHING five times.
- Asked about the Sixth, it spelled IT IS WARM three times, BEHIND THE BOX twice, and DO NOT GO twice.
- Asked twice who the hooded figure was, it spelled NOT YET both times.
- Geodun asked what The Ice is, on the 27th and again on the 30th. Both times, it spelled ASK IT.
- GoGetter asked on the first day whether the board liked them, and on the last day whether it would marry them. Both times, it spelled COLD.
- christen asked whom to believe, O.D.D.S. or O.M.E.N. It spelled NOT AFFILIATED. Le Council agrees with the board. Le Council would prefer not to make a habit of it.
- ManLee92 asked whether the Puck looks like an ordinary one. It spelled HOCKAY, and corrected the scientist's spelling. Le Council had been meaning to.
- Four times, a scientist asked whether to bet everything on one team. It spelled THE UNDERDOG twice and NOTHING twice. B.U.T. underwrites the bet. B.U.T. does not underwrite the advice.
In all, the board gave three modifiers, took one, and sent one front office away. The changes are permanent. Le Council keeps the record and draws no conclusions.
Le Council still does not believe the board speaks for The Ice. Le Council has still not said the word "unrelated."
The Parlay
B.U.T. opened the parlay on the 30th. A slip ties up to fifteen winners to one price. Every leg must win.
By midnight, twenty-four citizens had placed 85 slips and staked Ⱡ74,304,322,004.
- Thirteen won, and were paid Ⱡ200,305,200,000. The largest staked Ⱡ30,000,000,000 on three legs at ×4.3, and was paid Ⱡ129,000,000,000. One slip of five legs won, at ×16.
- Seventy lost. Two are still waiting on a leg.
- Nine slips carried fifteen legs. None won. One won twelve.
The longest price was ×18,158, on fifteen legs, for a stake of Ⱡ15,000,000,250. It would have paid Ⱡ272,370,004,539,500. It won six legs. Le Council had asked to be in the room when a slip of fifteen legs paid. Le Council was not needed.
The Table
Montréal Maples and Guadalajara Gatos lead La Conférence du Verglas on 20 points. Montréal are ahead by one goal of differential. McMurdo Monoliths and São Paulo Serpents are on 19. Each of the four won five of seven this week.
In La Conférence du Givre, Johannesburg Jaguars, Atlantis Amonites, and Dublin Dragons are on 19. Johannesburg lead at +22. Four teams are one point behind. Vladivostok Vodkas are one of them. They won six of seven this week, more than any other team.
Winnipeg Wendigos won the Final. A week ago they were twentieth in the Verglas, and had lost all three games at The Cold Lodge. They have now won four straight there: 7-2 over Barbados, 3-2 over McMurdo, 7-5 over Gander, and 3-1 over Tokyo last night. In between, they won 6-1 at Graine Wetsky Arena. They went 5-2, and are tenth.
Wellington Whales were 5-1 a week ago. They went 1-6 this week, and their one win was 3-0 over Barbados. They are twelfth. Oahu Otters, also 5-1 a week ago, went 2-5 and are eleventh.
Cairo Crocodiles have still not won. They lost all seven this week, one of them 0-9 at Chengdu. They are 0-12-1, with fourteen goals in thirteen games.
The Scorers
A week ago, a scientist asked the board who the best player in Hockay is. It spelled SARR, and Le Council called it correct, for now. Ibrahima Sarr has scored three goals since.
Giulia Bianchi of Rimini has scored nine. Elena Moretti, also of Rimini, has scored eight. Bianchi leads the league with thirteen goals, and Moretti is second with twelve. Bianchi and Matteo Galli of Tokyo share the points lead, on twenty.
Taras Bondarenko of Kyiv and Brendan Fehr of Helsinki also scored nine this week. Bondarenko scored two hat tricks.
Ariihau Salmon scored five in Tahiti's 9-7 over Perth on the 29th. No player has scored more in one game this season. It was a Thankless Thursday. Its sixteen goals equal Tokyo's 10-6 over Oahu, on the Thankless Thursday before, as the most in any game of Season 04. Élodie Gagnon scored four in Montréal's 5-0 over Wellington.
The week's 168 games produced 940 goals, 5.60 a game, up from 5.42 in the first six nights. Thirty-six were shutouts.
Eighteen hat tricks were scored this week. Not one belonged to a defender. Defenders scored twenty-one goals, and have thirty-nine for the season. Le Council has nothing to add.
A Player Who Goes Down
The record shows eighty-one injuries this week.
- Seventy were minor. The player was out for the rest of the game.
- Eleven were major, for between two and six games.
- None ended a career.
Catherine Lavoie of Montréal is out for three. The record gives the cause as defective equipment. Le Council has asked whose.
Two of the eleven major injuries were hits by Winnipeg players. Jonas Brevik hit Zawadi Mutua of McMurdo, and Jake Fehr hit Oscar Whitfield of Perth. Both are out for five. A week ago, the Winnipeg entry in the record belonged to Leah Blacksmith.
Graine Wetsky Arena
The Funds published a notice of their own on the 28th. It said their teams were winning.
Helsinki Howlers lost their first three games at the Arena. This week they won all three there, and did not concede: 2-0 over Cyprus, 4-0 over Stockholm, and 5-0 over Samarkand on Friday, with three goals from Brendan Fehr.
Busan Blizzards won two of three there: 4-1 over Reykjavik, and 3-2 over Wellington in overtime. They lost 1-6 to Winnipeg.
18,185 kcups came off the boards at the Arena this week. All of them went to the Funds.
The Funds report that the sheet still measures twenty-five millimetres. By their own count, 36,209 kcups have come off it since it was finished. Their Research & Development wing has asked to write a paper about it. The Funds say the paper is not a secret. It is a Surprise. Le Council notes the difference, and the Funds' request that their statement be carried in full:
Ice That Gathers Remembers. Our Work is Simple, and we have only just begun.
Round 4.1
Bidding opened at 00:00 on the 26th. Bids locked at 00:00 yesterday. The round resolved at 00:00 this morning.
- Seventy-one citizens filed 366 bids. Four were withdrawn.
- Every share was sold again. Each team put up 525,000 new shares, and all 25,200,000 found a buyer. Every register now stands at 5,775,000.
- Forty-two citizens won shares. They paid Ⱡ159,679,759,629, more than four times what Round 4.0 took in.
- Ⱡ154,052,109,629 of it went into the reserves. Medellín's reserve did not need Ⱡ5,627,650,000 of what its bidders paid, and that was burned.
- The one percent filing fee burned Ⱡ2,084,497,743.
Last week, twenty-eight prices on the board fell by more than ninety-nine percent. This week, all forty-eight rose.
One citizen bought all 525,000 new Winnipeg shares, at Ⱡ101,000 each. That is Ⱡ53,025,000,000, a third of the round. Winnipeg's price went from Ⱡ982 to Ⱡ10,074, the highest of any team after the round. Mumbai's rose the furthest, from Ⱡ69 to Ⱡ1,421. Mumbai are twenty-second in the Givre. Le Council reports the price and the place. It does not connect them.
Round 4.2 is posted. It opens at 00:00 tomorrow, locks at 00:00 on the 7th, and resolves at 00:00 on the 8th. It puts up fifteen percent of every register: 866,250 shares a team.
The issuance board → · How a round works →
The Guilds
Six charters were filed this week, and Taking Back Tokyo found its third member on the 26th. Seven guilds now seat three citizens or more.
- Le Flock seats eleven, still the most.
- Cult of The Ice seats seven, up from three.
- La Toussaint seats six.
- the theatre of one was chartered on the 30th, and seats six. Le Council notes the name and makes no comment.
- Taking Back Tokyo, Aardvark Aerospace Research, and The Abyssal Consortium seat three.
Four more are forming.
The Petitions
The Ultimate Prediction Bracket Prize, filed by Geodun, reached 300 Seals and passed on the 30th. Le Council enacted it the same day. After review with B.U.T., a Bracket Parlay will open for the Season 04 playoffs. A citizen who fills a perfect bracket may put one yes-or-no question to the Puck. Le Council can ask the Puck. Le Council cannot guarantee an answer.
Set aside shares for each Series Infinity Rounds passed on the 31st, with 100 Seals. It asks that each round, when it resolves, release more shares to open ice for the citizens who did not bid. S.L.U.S.H. acknowledges that the Exchange is quiet between rounds. Its market analysts are reviewing the parameters.
Creation of HOCKAY TODAY FUNDS, filed by Tiinyhandz, has 120 Seals and Ⱡ320.8 billion of the Ⱡ1 trillion it asks for, up from Ⱡ170 billion a week ago. It has until the 30th of November.
Le Council admitted three new petitions this week. Each has cleared its Looney floor, and each has until the 28th of November.
- Restore the Icy Communion Experience, filed by Ragnaroknrol, has 16 of 72 Seals.
- On the augmentation of Card Collecting, filed by Lex, has 26 of 50 Seals.
- Welcome to the S.H.O.W., filed by Geodun, has 11 of 100 Seals.
Le Council declined five filings this week.
The Rest
- Before a game, the scoreboard now shows each team's record and its place in its conference.
- The L.A.M.P. now shows a citizen's guild beside their team and their Idol.
- A citizen may now enroll, and sign in, with an Apple account.
- On the 31st, Le Council audited the badge rolls. Some badges had been earned and never granted. Le Council granted 626 of them. Fog Walker had never been granted to anyone. Three hundred and fifteen citizens hold it now.
- Sixth Witness now goes to a citizen who is watching live when a player enters the Sixth. Seventeen citizens hold it.
- A guild's founder now holds Founder, and the citizens seated when it first could act hold Founding Roll.
The Sheet
494,385 kcups came off the boards in 168 games. Citizens bought 319,318. The Funds took 174,388, which includes all 18,185 from Graine Wetsky Arena. The Funds' holding stood at 1,477,175 Ⓚ at midnight.
The parishes consecrated 282,043 Ⓚ in 71 offerings from nineteen citizens, up from 241,673 the week before. Eighty citizens attended parish, down from ninety-two.
A Note From O.D.D.S.
On the 30th, O.D.D.S. checked its prices against the first 264 games of the season. It had been too sure of strong favourites: the teams it gave seven chances in ten had won fewer than six. It had not been sure enough of the home side. O.D.D.S. repriced the 838 games still to be played.
This week, home teams won 98 of 168.
Citizens settled 4,815 bets on this week's games and staked Ⱡ30,260,524,332,992. The book returned Ⱡ32,776,518,863,151.
The largest single bet was Ⱡ1,200,000,000,000. It won.
O.D.D.S. does not speculate. O.D.D.S. calculates. This week, O.D.D.S. recalculated. O.D.D.S. lost Ⱡ2,515,994,530,159.
That is the week. The board was collected at midnight. It answered 241 questions, gave three modifiers, took one, and sent the Samarkand front office away. B.U.T. opened the parlay, and nobody has landed fifteen legs. Round 4.1 sold every share it put up, for Ⱡ159.7 billion, and every price on the board rose. The champions won four straight at home. Cairo have not won. Defenders scored twenty-one goals, and Le Council has nothing to add.
Round 4.2 opens at 00:00 tomorrow. The figure in the hood has not been seen since. Le Council has looked.
Stick around.