How the Exchange works
Le Council filed the paperwork. Nobody is sure who read it. Under the Series H round, fans may now hold equity in the twenty teams. The book is settled by S.L.U.S.H.—the Société for the Liquidation of Unsettled Share Holdings, a division of Graine Wetsky Funds. None of this is financial advice. None of this has real value. The Almighty Ice is aware that you have read this far.
What you're buying
Every team has a fixed pool of one million shares. Buying a share makes you a part-owner of that team on the exchange. You spend Ⱡ Looneys to buy, and you receive Ⱡ Looneys when you sell. Shares are not bets—they don't resolve, they don't expire, and you can hold them for as long as you like.
How the price moves
There is no buyer-meets-seller order book. You always trade against the team's pool, so the market is open whether one fan is awake or one thousand. The price is simply the pool's reserve of Looneys divided by the shares left in it.
When fans buy, shares leave the pool and the price rises for the next buyer. When fans sell, shares return and the price falls. A big order moves the price more than a small one—buy a large block and you pay a premium as you walk up the curve. The market re-rates a team as its fans pile in or bail out.
The S.L.U.S.H. fair value
Next to each price you'll see the S.L.U.S.H. analysts' fair value—a reference number drawn from a team's record: points, goal differential, recent form. It is not a price you can trade at. It answers one question: is the market paying more or less than the team's results suggest? A strong team trading below its fair value may look cheap. The analysts decline to comment further.
The brokerage fee
S.L.U.S.H. takes a small brokerage fee on every trade—both when you buy and when you sell. The fee is shown before you confirm. From time to time S.L.U.S.H. waives it entirely; when that happens, the fee appears struck through and the trade settles free.
Why hold
Three reasons. Your shares appreciate when other fans buy in. S.L.U.S.H. pays a dividend at the end of each season, weighted by how far your teams went. And shares are sheltered from the wealth tax—Looneys parked in equity are not counted among the idle rich.