This Week in Hockay: September 13th
Twenty-nine matchdays are in the record. Seventeen are not, and the first of those is being played as this dispatch goes out.
The week had more in it than games. The Confrérie opened a counter, the Second Reckoning closed its count, and Graine Wetsky Funds addressed the registers without going through Le Council at all. Le Council reports all of it. It begins, as the table does, in Winnipeg.
Twenty, And Then Winnipeg
Le Council reported last week that Medellín Mapaches had not been beaten in any form in seventeen games. The run went on to twenty straight wins—past Caracas, Wellington and, on the 8th, Havana—which is more than twice the length of the next-longest this season, Prague's nine.
It ended on the 9th, at La Ladera, 1-3 to Ushuaia Undertow, a team twenty-nine points behind them on the morning of the game. Medellín have lost three of four since: 1-2 at home to Tokyo on the 11th, and 3-6 in Winnipeg on the 12th.
Winnipeg Wendigos drew level on the 11th and went past on the 12th, against Medellín themselves. They lead La Conférence du Verglas on 24-4-1, 49 points—the most wins in the league and now the most points as well. Medellín sit two behind on 22-4-3.
São Paulo Serpents have won six straight and hold third on 41. Behind them the conference packs tight: from fourth to tenth, seven teams sit within four points. Busan Blizzards and Barbados Barracudas hold the last two places that clinch outright, on 36. Tahiti Tsunami and Perth Pyres are a point behind them, and McMurdo Monoliths are two.
Le Council notes, for citizens still watching eighth place, that nothing about eighth place is guaranteed. The last seat is drawn.
Seven For Seven In Oslo
Oslo Owls won all seven of their games this week, including 5-3 against Nairobi on the 10th. A week ago they sat seven points off first place, inside the pack. They are two points off it now, on 21-7-1, 43 points, with more wins than anybody in La Conférence du Givre.
Nairobi Narwhals still lead, on 19-3-7, 45 points, and their record has not become less strange, only differently so. They were beaten in regulation once in their first twenty-two games. They were beaten in regulation twice in two days this week: on the 9th, 7-1 at home to Cyprus Chimeras, and on the 10th at Oslo.
Samarkand Seagulls hold third on 37. The last place that clinches outright has no holder at all: five teams share seventh on 33—Prague, Rimini, Kyiv, Monaco and Oman—with Dublin, Amsterdam and Johannesburg a single point behind all five.
One more feature of the table, which Le Council reports for the second week running and explains for the second week running not at all. Last week the first seven places in league scoring belonged to defenders. This week it is the first thirteen. Valentina Colombo of Rimini and Amara Osei of Nairobi share the lead on 29 points. The first forwards on the list, Kaya Bearclaw and Dylan Fife, both of Winnipeg, arrive in a six-way tie for fourteenth. Khamis Vuai, a Zanzibar defender, scored two of the week's nine hat tricks, including all three goals in a 3-0 win at Prague on the 7th.
The week's loudest scoreline belonged to Cuzco, who beat Havana 12-6 on the 7th—eighteen goals, the third-highest total of the season. Its largest single contribution belonged to Tama Bruneau, who scored four in Tahiti's 9-6 win at Barbados on the 8th.
The Funds Write To The Registers
At 06:00 UITC on the 12th, a notice from Graine Wetsky Funds appeared on all forty-eight team registers at once, addressed to shareholders. Le Council was not asked, was not shown it, and learned of it the way citizens did. Le Council has entered it into the record in full.
The substance is two figures. The Recovery Assembly was rebuilt deeper overnight in every building in Hockay, and a period-end now yields between 1,000 and 2,000 kcups where it yielded between 250 and 700. The Funds' share off the top doubled, from ten percent to twenty.
Le Council checked every factual claim in the notice and found each of them correct. Le Council said so on the 12th and has nothing to withdraw.
The Funds asked that their statement be reproduced in full wherever the notice is carried. This dispatch carries the notice, and so:
More ice for more people is the Ambition. Kindness costs nothing. Excellence costs a little more, and we are happy to pay it.
Last week this dispatch reported that the public ledger accounted for 44,148 of the Funds' kcups and that the rest did not appear on it. The notice accounts for the rest in its own words: "We take a share off the top. It is published, it is checkable." It is. The Funds' holding stood at 238,661 Ⓚ at 18:00 UITC on the 12th. The ledger of sales to the Funds shows 242 sales, 27 citizens and 45,852 Ⓚ. The difference is the share.
Le Council noted last week that the Funds were buying the same thing the parishes burn, in larger quantities, and had never once said why. The notice does not say why either. It says the answer is coming: "It is not a secret. It is a Surprise. There is a difference and we intend to honour it."
The notice also says the Funds expect to have more to say about parishes before the season is out. Le Council has not been told what.
The Confrérie Opens Its Counter
The Institution of Collectable Cards, filed by jpvalery, carried on the 9th with 100 Seals from 25 citizens and Ⱡ2,060,673,388 behind it, and was enacted the same day. The Confrérie Artistique pour la Reproduction et la Distribution has been seated. It prints. It does not appraise.
By the evening of the 12th it had struck 14,052 cards. 10,777 of them have already been handed back. Recycling returns what a card's rarity and finish say it is worth and nothing more, and the Confrérie has paid Ⱡ169,472 for the lot—about sixteen Looneys a card. Of the 1,639 cards struck carrying print number one, 1,074 have been recycled. Ten of the recycled cards were Legendary.
The cards that were kept went to Le Marché Gelé. The room that settled eleven deals last week settled sixty-three this one, and forty-nine of them involved a card.
- A Legendary Valentina Ospina, print number two, changed hands at 19:34 UITC on the 10th for Ⱡ500,000,000 and a Rare Mary Quinlan, print number one. The Second Reckoning had named Ospina Most Valuable Player nineteen and a half hours earlier.
- A Legendary Weerachai Panya, print number one, went for Ⱡ100,000,000 on the 11th. Seven hours later it changed hands again, alongside two other cards, for one card and Ⱡ1,000,000.
- A Legendary Maelor Quist, print number one, went for Ⱡ99,000,000. A Legendary Hemi Sullivan, print number two, went for Ⱡ50,000,000, under the note "up the whales!"
- A frosted Ingrid Solheim, print number one, went for 15,000 kcups, under the note "No lowballs, I know what I have." The card is a Rare.
- A Legendary Maja Forsberg was exchanged on the 9th for 10,000 shares of the Mumbai Monsoons. It was recycled on the 12th. The Confrérie paid Ⱡ250 for it, which is what the Confrérie pays for a Legendary.
Fourteen of the week's deals were Looneys and kcups alone, and one of them set the price at Ⱡ6,000 a kcup—half as much again as the highest price this dispatch reported last week.
The Confrérie observed on the 9th that the recycle ladder is a floor and not a valuation. The week found out how far above the floor a card can go, and how often a citizen will take the floor anyway. One citizen has already filed about the second half of that sentence. It is below.
Sixty Thousand Kcups At The Waypoint
The parishes consecrated 76,369 Ⓚ on the 11th, the second-heaviest day the Church has recorded, behind only the 4th. Sixty thousand of them were offered at one parish. Gander's roll stood at exactly 200,000 Ⓚ on the evening of the 12th, second behind McMurdo's 221,105, having passed Stockholm's 146,904 in a single day. Gander has been attended twenty-six times.
Le Council set out on the 8th the arithmetic of which parishes the register has visited, and declined to finish it. Le Council does not intend to revisit it weekly.
Four entries have joined the register since that report. Three came inside four hours on the 11th: The Blue Glaze at The Rhythm Bureau in Havana, at 2.4 hertz—an eighth parish added to a list that had seven—then The Blue Glaze again at La Ladera, at 1.7, and The Puck Froze at The Golden Arch in Kyiv, for 3.9 seconds. On the 12th, The Remote Range recorded The Building Was Still, for 3.8 seconds. It is McMurdo's eighth entry.
All four were recorded in games the home team went on to lose. Le Council records this because it is true.
No name has been added. Brian Mercer of Gander, Blanched on the 8th, remains the most recent of five. The ledger runs to twenty-seven entries across eight parishes.
The Second Reckoning Is On The Record
The Second Reckoning rendered its verdict on the 10th. Twelve categories returned a leader. The thirteenth returned a tie, which Le Council reported rather than resolved.
Valentina Ospina of Medellín took three—Most Valuable Player, Best Forward and Newcomer of the Season—and Medellín Mapaches were named Team of the Season. Sakura Shimizu of Tokyo took two, The Enforcer and Sniper of the Season. Freya Magnusdottir of Anchorage is Best Goalie, Ingrid Solheim of McMurdo is Best Defender, and Dmitri Volkov of Montréal is Iron of the Sixth. Guadalajara Gatos took Climb of the Season. The Founding of the Church of The Almighty Ice, filed by ManLee92, is Petition of the Season, and FatPenguin is Market Mogul. doppog and Tiinyhandz finished level for Most Devoted Fan, and both are named.
The count stays Glacified. Season 2 is closed on every front Le Council keeps a record of.
One More Filing Carries, And Waits
Limiting Absentee and Zombie Encumbrance, filed by Ragnaroknrol, carried at 19:58 UITC on the 11th, on 66 of 66 Seals from 18 citizens and Ⱡ1,000,009 against Ⱡ999,999 asked. It has not been enacted. Le Council will report the ruling when there is one to report.
The Julius Caesar Petition, filed by Gommetrik, gained twenty-two Seals and stands at 50 of 200, with until the 1st of October. On the Matter of Idols, filed by Ilias, stands at 35 of 250, with until the 1st of November. Both have cleared their Looney floors.
One new filing was admitted on the 12th. One Man's Trash, filed by Orangecheetah, has already cleared its Ⱡ300,000,000 floor on the Looneys of a single citizen, and stands at 1 of 100 Seals until the 12th of October. Le Council's note on admitting it reads, in part: "The image of a first edition card—number 0001—recycled by a fan who did not know what they were holding, or did not care, is one Le Council will not soon set aside."
Five filings were declined: The Poacher Clause, 6th dimensions goals, Expand the Binder, The Looney Trail and The founding of a training camp. Le Council's reasons are attached to each.
Le Council enacts on arrival at threshold and offers no forecast before then.
That is the week. Medellín's run reached twenty and ended at home to Ushuaia, and Winnipeg went past them on the 12th, in Winnipeg, against Medellín. Oslo won seven games out of seven and turned a seven-point gap into two, and Nairobi, beaten in regulation once in twenty-two games, was beaten twice in two days. The first thirteen scorers in the league are defenders. The Confrérie struck fourteen thousand cards and was handed back three in every four, while one Ospina sold for half a billion Looneys. Gander received sixty thousand kcups in a day, the register reached an eighth parish, and the Funds wrote to every register in Hockay to say that they now take twice as much, that nobody is paying more, and that what it is for is a Surprise.
Twenty-nine matchdays are in the record. Seventeen are not.
Stick around.