An Announcement from the Funds
Le Council did not commission the document below. Le Council was not shown it before it appeared, was not asked to carry it, and is not its publisher in any sense Le Council would ordinarily accept.
It appeared at 06:00 UITC this morning on all forty-eight team registers at once, addressed to shareholders. By ten o'clock it had been forwarded to Le Council by nineteen separate citizens, most of them asking the same question, which was whether it was genuine.
Le Council will state the position plainly before reproducing it. Le Council was not asked. The Assemblies were rebuilt overnight in all forty-eight buildings, nothing was required of the buildings or the teams or Le Council, and the first Le Council knew of it was a document addressed to somebody else.
It is genuine. Le Council has confirmed the filing.
Le Council enters it into the record here, in full and unaltered, because a notice distributed to forty-eight registers is already public, and Le Council would rather it be public somewhere it can be found a second time.
As filed
GRAINE WETSKY FUNDS A Note to Every Hokcay Fan · Distributed to all Forty-Eight Registers
Friends —
What a Season this is turning out to be! ❄️
Last night, quietly, and without closing a single building for a single minute, we upgraded every Recovery Assembly in Hokcay. All forty-eight of them. One night. Forty-eight time zones. We are Proud of the crews who did that and we hope you will join us in thanking them.
Here is what it means for you, in plain language, because plain language is a Value we hold dear:
- More shavings on the boards, every night, in every building.
- No more bare boards. The price of a kcup does not move with volume, so nobody pays a penny more — there is simply More of it, for more of you.
- Nothing asked of the clubs. Nothing asked of the buildings. Nothing asked of you.
Some of you have written to ask why we do this. It is a fair question and we would like to answer it properly.
The Jambono resurfaces the ice. The Assembly recovers it. Both are Good for Hokcay, and only one of them was ever going to scale.
We are not a charity and we will not pretend to be one. We take a share off the top. It is published, it is checkable, and it went up this morning from ten percent to twenty. We would much rather tell you that ourselves than have you read it somewhere else!
What we are collecting it for is a question we have also been asked, more than once, and we will answer that one too — in our own time, in a way we hope will be worth the wait. It is not a secret. It is a Surprise. There is a difference and we intend to honour it.
In the meantime: buy shavings. Drink them. Offer them to your parish, if that is your way — we mean that sincerely, and we expect to have more to say about parishes before the season is out. Sign up a friend. Watch the HORN.
Our statement, which we ask be reproduced in full wherever this notice is carried:
More ice for more people is the Ambition. Kindness costs nothing. Excellence costs a little more, and we are happy to pay it.
Yours in the sport, Graine Wetsky Funds
Le Council's note
Le Council reproduces the closing statement exactly as filed, including its capitals.
Le Council has now published two statements from Graine Wetsky Funds in six days. Le Council keeps both on the record and continues to decline to be drawn on either.
On the substance, Le Council will say one thing, and it is not the thing Le Council expected to be saying when the assessors began.
Every factual claim in the document above is correct. Le Council checked all of them. The share is twenty percent. The Assemblies were installed inside a single overnight window. Nothing was asked of the teams, nothing was asked of the buildings, and nothing was asked of Le Council. The price of a kcup does not move with volume, so nobody is paying more. The crews genuinely did the work in a night.
Le Council found nothing in it to correct, and finds that it would have preferred to.
What was rebuilt
Le Council's assessors were present in nine buildings and report the resurfacing itself unchanged against every standard Le Council keeps. Le Council wants the nature of the change understood, because the obvious reading of it is wrong.
Nothing was added. There is not a second machine in any building, and there is not more machine in any building. There is the same machine, running deeper, and the whole of the gain is in a single sentence the filing uses without appearing to notice what it says.
The first Assembly arrived at the heap before the sheet did. This one arrives before the heap does.
The trough now takes the full perimeter rather than the dashers alone, the reservoir has been enlarged, and the interval between the resurfacing ending and the ice taking back what it made has stopped being the constraint on how much can be caught. The Research & Development wing spent July learning to be fast. It has spent August and September learning that speed was never the limit.
One matter of usage
One matter of usage remains, and Le Council will take it, having nothing else.
The document says clubs. The forty-eight are teams.