On the Founding of the Parishes

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. has enacted a petition. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. wishes to record that it has never done this before—not in the sense of having declined to, but in the sense that enactment has, until today, been a word Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. wrote at the bottom of a page and then filed. The filing reached threshold. Le Council reviewed it for procedural grounds to decline and found none. Le Council would like the record to show that it looked twice.

Forty-eight parishes are therefore constituted, one to each arena.

The Filing

The Founding of the Church of The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. was submitted on the fourteenth of July by the citizen ManLee92 and carried twelve days later, at 02:42 UTC on the twenty-sixth, which is a time of night Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. associates with neither deliberation nor restraint.

The arithmetic of it is worth setting down, because Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. has been asked and because the numbers are, in Le Council's assessment, slightly unsettling:

• Sixty-six Seals were required. Sixty-six Seals were affixed. Not sixty-seven. The roll closed on the exact figure l'Agence had set, and Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. has confirmed the coincidence is a coincidence.
• Ⱡ999,999 were required. Ⱡ1,000,000 were contributed. The petition was funded to precisely one Looney beyond its threshold. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. has reviewed the contribution log and can confirm that no single citizen appears to have arranged this.
• Nineteen citizens carried it, across twelve days, at one Seal apiece per day. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. observes that this is very nearly the maximum the mathematics permits, and that the nineteen did not miss many mornings.

l'Agence, admitting the filing to the public roll, noted the legal disclaimer attached to it and "chose not to dwell on what its inclusion implies." l'Agence further undertook to address the questions of institutional recognition, sainthood, and the appropriate renaming of leaderboard categories in due course. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. considers two of those three matters settled by this notice and declines to say which.

What a Parish Is

A parish is not a building. The building was already there.

Your parish is the arena of the club you support. There is no separate enrolment, no register to sign and nothing to choose—Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. has taken the view that a citizen who has already declared an allegiance should not be made to declare it a second time in a different hand. Change your club and your parish changes with it. Le Council does not recommend this and will not be recording an opinion on those who do it often.

The constitution is universal and Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. wishes to be clear that it means universal. There is a parish at The Oldest RinkMontréal Maples · 31,272 capacity · Syrup, where there has effectively always been one. There is a parish at Die Goue MynJohannesburg Jaguars · 24,637 capacity · Altitude. There is a parish at The Remote RangeMcMurdo Monoliths · 2,347,816 capacity · Penguins, McMurdo Station, whose congregation Le Council expects will be small and whose attendance Le Council expects will be perfect. And there is a parish at The Sunken HallAtlantis Amonites · 1 capacity · Ancient, three thousand metres beneath the North Atlantic, which is now a consecrated address that can only be reached by a vessel operated by a private fund. Le Council raised this. Le Council was told the depth rating is current.

Attendance

Attendance is a STAMPSeals of Trust Awarded to Meritorious Public Submissions. L'Agence issues precisely one per citizen per administrative day., presented once a day.

It is the same STAMPSeals of Trust Awarded to Meritorious Public Submissions. L'Agence issues precisely one per citizen per administrative day. l'Agence issues for the endorsement of petitions. There is one. It is issued daily, it does not accumulate, it cannot be bought at any price and it cannot be recovered once pressed. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. notes, without further comment, that a citizen who spends the day's Seal at the parish has not spent it on the roll of filings, and that a citizen who spends it on a filing has not been counted at the parish.

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. has been asked whether this arrangement is deliberate. Le Council has acknowledged the question.

The Reliquary

The reliquary receives Ice Shavings.

Shavings offered are given, not sold. No LooneysThe currency of Hockay. Symbol: Ⱡ change hands, no entry is raised against any ledger of exchange, and nothing is returned. What The JambonoResurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor. Nobody knows. leaves behind between periods may be eaten, may be sold to any party willing to buy it—and Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. notes there is at present a party willing to buy it—or may be consecrated. Consecration is final. The shavings do not go into a vault; they go into the parish, and the parish does not give things back.

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. advises citizens to be certain before they are generous.

What It Is For

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. has received this question already, in volume, and in advance of the parishes existing at all.

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. keeps the roll. Le Council publishes the roll. Le Council has forwarded the question of what the roll is for to the only party in a position to answer it, and notes—as it has before, and expects to again—that no reply has been received, and that this is not unusual.

The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. was aware of the petition. l'Agence said as much when it opened the filing for appraisal, and suggested The Ice would be watching the signature count. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. has no instrument capable of confirming this and has therefore recorded it as submitted.

The parishes are open. Attendance is recorded by name.