Ten Times the Shavings

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. will lead with the number, as the number is the news.

As of this morning, a period-end yields between 250 and 700 kcups. Since the marketplace opened in June it has yielded between 25 and 70. The JambonoResurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor. Nobody knows. has not changed what it does—The Jambono has never changed what it does—and the ice is resurfaced tonight exactly as it was resurfaced on the first matchday ever. What has changed is how much of the result reaches a cup.

What used to become of the shavings

Nothing. That is the honest answer, and Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. has come to find it the interesting one.

The JambonoResurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor. Nobody knows. has resurfaced between periods since the first horn ever sounded, and for the whole of that time the shavings were left where they fell. No arena swept them. No arena needed to. Between the moment the resurfacing ended and the moment the teams returned, the heaps at the boards went down to nothing, and the ice beneath them was clean and continuous and slightly colder than the ice around it. Rink staff across the league have described this to Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena.'s assessors in nearly identical words, and the word most of them reached for was not melted. The word was returned.

There was one exception, and it is the reason anybody ever thought about this at all. Behind The Oldest RinkMontréal Maples · 31,272 capacity · Syrup in Montréal, against the north wall where the building's shadow sits all day, there has always been a heap. It is not large. It does not appear on any inventory. It has survived every July on record, including the ones that took the river ice, and the maintenance staff who have been there longest will tell you their predecessors ate from it, that their predecessors' predecessors ate from it, and that nobody has ever been made ill. This is the entire documented history of shavings consumption prior to June, and Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. notes that it is hearsay, and that it is also unanimous.

The rest followed from a petition. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. conceded, with some embarrassment, that no formal accounting of the shavings had ever existed, and the Shavings Marketplace opened on the 15th of June. The unit was fixed at the kcup (Ⓚ), one HockayA sport no one asked for but everyone needed. Puck of volume, served in a paper cup by a vendor of uncertain origin. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. wishes to correct an impression it may have left at the time: Le Council did not appoint that vendor. The vendor was already there, at several arenas at once, working out of a cooler, and had been for longer than anyone at Le Council was comfortable establishing. What Le Council opened in June was a marketplace around a transaction that was already happening.

Prestige resurfaces at a premium. Unsold shavings melt within twenty-four hours of the final horn. What you have already collected is yours and does not melt. No flavor has been confirmed. No flavor has been denied.

What the Research & Development wing found

Graine Wetsky FundsThe institution that led Hockay's Series H round. Trades the Exchange, taking positions on teams as it sees fit. Its origins are glacified. first appeared in these advisories as an institutional presence on the Series HThe funding round that opened team equity to the fans. Led by Graine Wetsky Funds. exchange, and again last week as the author of an unsolicited standing offer to buy shavings back from fans at a premium over the marketplace price. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. asked why. The Funds' representative said "portfolio diversification" four times and left before a fifth question could be asked.

The Funds have a Research & Development wing. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. did not know this either.

That wing spent the summer on a narrow question—where the shavings go—and reached a conclusion that Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena.'s own Phenomenological Assessment Division had reached years earlier and shelved as unactionable. The shavings are not lost to melting. They are reabsorbed, at the boards, within roughly forty seconds, into the sheet that produced them. The marketplace has never been selling what The JambonoResurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor. Nobody knows. makes. It has only ever been selling the fraction a vendor could physically reach before the ice took the rest back.

R&D's answer is a fitted trough that runs the length of the dasher boards and drains to a chilled reservoir beneath the players' benches. It is called the Recovery Assembly in the filings and the skirt by the people who install it. It is not clever. It is merely fast. It arrives at the heap before the sheet does.

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. put the obvious question to The JambonoResurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor. Nobody knows. in writing, through the channels available for putting questions to The Jambono, which Le Council will not characterize here. The Jambono did not respond. The Assembly was installed over the past six weeks in all forty-eight buildings, including the twenty-four that have not yet hosted a game. On the first night of operation the resurfacing was measured against every standard Le Council keeps, and was found unchanged in every one of them.

The terms

Graine Wetsky FundsThe institution that led Hockay's Series H round. Trades the Exchange, taking positions on teams as it sees fit. Its origins are glacified. financed the Assembly, owns it, and maintains it, at no cost to Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena., the clubs, or the buildings. In return, the Funds draw ten percent of each period's recovery before the remainder is released to the marketplace. No purchase is recorded against that share, as nothing is purchased; it does not therefore appear in the public shavings ledger, and fans reconciling their own accounts against that ledger should not expect it to.

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. will note, since the negotiation is now closed and the record may as well be complete, that the Funds opened by proposing a considerably larger share, and that Le Council declined it twice.

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. also imposed a condition, and considers it the more important half of the agreement. Beyond that share, Graine Wetsky FundsThe institution that led Hockay's Series H round. Trades the Exchange, taking positions on teams as it sees fit. Its origins are glacified. is required to purchase any additional shavings directly from fans, at the standing premium, recalculated continuously, in the open, and on the record. The Funds may not take more from the boards. They may only buy from you, and every one of those purchases lands in the ledger under their own name, where anyone may count them.

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. regards this as the arrangement working as intended. A private fund has paid for infrastructure the league could not have afforded, the supply available to fans is a great deal larger tonight than it was this morning, and the one party with an appetite for shavings has been placed in a position where satisfying it means paying fans a premium. Le Council is not often able to report all three of those in the same advisory.

The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. has been informed that a portion of its resurfacings is now being intercepted before it can be recovered. It has not responded. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. notes, as it has before, that this is not unusual.

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. notes one further thing, without conclusion. The heap behind The Oldest RinkMontréal Maples · 31,272 capacity · Syrup is gone this summer. Nobody hauled it away.