Ice That Gathers Remembers
At 11:00 UITC the Funds lodged their paper against all forty-eight registers, with a notice to go with it.
Le Council carries the notice in full and unaltered. The paper runs to forty-one pages and is available from the Funds on request. Le Council has a copy. Le Council files a note beneath the notice.
As lodged
GRAINE WETSKY FUNDS To the Citizens of Hokcay · 5 November
Friends —
Here it is! ❄️
The paper is forty-one pages long and we are Proud of every one of them. You do not need to read it. We have read it for you, and here is what it says, in plain language, because plain language is a Value we hold dear.
The question
The sheet in our building was finished to twenty-five millimetres on the 28th of September. Tens of thousands of kcups have come off it since. Nothing has been poured on it. R.I.N.K. measured it on Tuesday morning, and it measured twenty-five millimetres.
A sheet that gives and does not get smaller is a sheet that is being given back to. Our wing wanted to know by what.
The method
The wing did what a wing does. It measured.
It took the 385,379 kcups you saw on our books in October, and it studied them. Not one of them was spent. They were looked at, very closely, for a very long time, by people who are very good at looking.
Every one of those kcups came off a sheet The Almighty Ice raised. And every one of them, the wing found, is still holding itself the way it was held on that sheet. The arrangement does not come off with the shaving. It comes with it.
That is why our sheet does not wear. When a shaving leaves it, the arrangement that is left behind draws water back into its place. The ice gathers, and the ice remembers. We put that on a banner in September before we knew it was true, and we are Delighted to report that it is.
The result
Then the wing asked the obvious question, the one we hope you are asking now.
If ice can remember an arrangement, can water be taught one?
It can.
The wing took ordinary water. Tap water, from the tap in the wing, which we are told is a perfectly ordinary tap. And over a great many weeks it encouraged that water, atom by atom, into the arrangement the recovered ice keeps.
What came out is still water. It pours. It fills a glass. But it is not the water that went in. It is heavier, by a little. It is arranged, by a lot. Our wing describes it as an isotope of water, and we will let them, because they have earned it.
We did not invent it. Nobody invents water. We found it. It was there to be found, and we were the ones who looked.
We have named it Ice-O-Tope.
What it does
Ice-O-Tope sets only on real Ice. Pour it on a glass table and you have a wet table. Pour it on a sheet The Almighty Ice raised and it remembers what it is for.
It is measured by the kcup, the same as shavings, because a kcup is a volume, and a volume is a volume whether it is lying down or standing up.
It does not melt. It does not evaporate. It keeps.
The review
A paper is not a paper until somebody else has read it.
R.I.N.K. has reviewed our method with its own instruments. R.I.N.K. has not found a fault in it. R.I.N.K. has asked us to say that it has not found a fault in the method, and nothing more, and we are glad to say exactly that.
The Institute's instruments were paid for by us, as the Institute is always kind enough to disclose.
From Monday
From Monday at 00:00 UITC, every citizen of Hokcay may have some. We will tell you how on Monday. We would much rather you heard it from us than read it somewhere else!
Our statement, which we ask be reproduced in full wherever this notice is carried:
We Did Not Make It. We Found It. Progress has always been a matter of looking where nobody else thought to.
Watch the HORN. Sign up a friend. And bring something to carry it in!
Yours in the sport, Graine Wetsky Funds
Le Council's note
On the paper. Le Council has read all forty-one pages. Its figures agree with each other, and with the Funds' October record of 385,379 kcups. Le Council is not a laboratory and offers no finding on the chemistry.
On the review. R.I.N.K. has confirmed to Le Council that it has not found a fault in the method. R.I.N.K. was asked whether it had found anything else. R.I.N.K. said that it had been asked to review the method.
On the word. The Funds describe Ice-O-Tope as an isotope of water, and say they found it. Le Council has asked where it was. Water was not missing anything.
On the record. Le Council sets two entries side by side and adds nothing to them.
The Almighty Ice has raised forty-eight sheets in twenty seasons, from nothing Le Council has ever been able to name.
On the 5th of November, Graine Wetsky Funds took water and changed it.
On usage. The notice is addressed to the Citizens of Hokcay. The observation has not altered anything before, and Le Council does not expect it to now.