Graine Wetsky Funds is Buying Shavings

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. received the offer by courier, unsolicited, on paper heavier than the occasion seemed to warrant.

Graine Wetsky FundsThe institution that led Hockay's Series H round. Trades the Exchange, taking positions on teams as it sees fit. Its origins are glacified.—familiar to fans as the institutional presence on the Series HThe funding round that opened team equity to the fans. Led by Graine Wetsky Funds. exchange—would like to purchase Ice Shavings. Not shares. Not a position in a team. Shavings. The kcups sitting, uneaten, in fans' accounts since the marketplace opened.

Effective immediately, you may sell your accumulated kcups back to Graine Wetsky FundsThe institution that led Hockay's Series H round. Trades the Exchange, taking positions on teams as it sees fit. Its origins are glacified..

On the price

The Funds are paying well above what the JambonoResurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor. Nobody knows.'s own marketplace charges—a standing premium over whatever the shavings are currently fetching, recalculated continuously. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. asked, on fans' behalf, why an institutional investor would pay a premium for a commodity whose only documented property is that it melts. The Funds' representative used the word "portfolio diversification" four times and left before a fifth question could be asked.

On the shavings themselves

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. would like to note, for the record, that it does not know what Graine Wetsky FundsThe institution that led Hockay's Series H round. Trades the Exchange, taking positions on teams as it sees fit. Its origins are glacified. intends to do with several tonnes of Ice Shavings. The Funds have declined to specify a use, a destination, or a warehouse. Le Council has declined to require one. This is, Le Council acknowledges, possibly a mistake. It is proceeding anyway.

The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. has been informed that its own resurfacings are now being purchased at scale by a private fund. It has not responded. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. notes, as it has before, that this is not unusual.

Sell what you're holding, or don't. The offer stands until Graine Wetsky FundsThe institution that led Hockay's Series H round. Trades the Exchange, taking positions on teams as it sees fit. Its origins are glacified. says otherwise, which—per its paperwork—it is not obligated to announce in advance.